Pictures to please

There are all sorts of ifs, buts and maybes involved in wedding planning, however I have yet to be involved in a wedding where the couple didn’t want a good photographic record of their day. Photos, like so many other elements, are very personal, but are pretty much essential for a wedding.

http://www.xposephoto.co.uk/

Choosing your photographer

Much as I advocate involving family and friends in your big day, this is one area where I would encourage you to stick one hundred percent with the professionals, it is generally advisable for you to consider someone who has a recognised qualification from a Photographic Association i.e the BIPP or the MPA. A cake which collapses or flowers which wilt are, of course, a terrible shame, but not to have a wonderful photograph album to treasure and share could be a tragedy.

Find someone you feel comfortable with via local wedding fairs, your venue manager, your wedding planner or friends’ recommendations.

The acid test is to look at three or four full wedding albums: if the photographer is a real pro, all the photos should be great, not just the chosen two on their website. Once you are happy with their photos, ensure you pick someone you can talk to, who will enthuse with you about capturing your day, and most of all someone who will fit in…..

The ideal situation is to find someone who will find it easy to mingle with your guests. You want a personality who will be able to talk to people, get to know the key players as the day moves on and therefore understand exactly which shots must not be missed.

Book early! Good photographers tend to get booked 18 or more months in advance. The best time to think about photography is after the venue has been confirmed.

A favourite photographer of mine, Simon Goold of www.xposephoto.co.uk says ‘Think carefully about times, taking into consideration the time of year. If you want to have mainly outdoor photographs in daylight conditions, are you allowing reasonable time for this? For example you cannot realistically entertain the thought of having outdoor group photographs at a late autumnal wedding commencing at 4.00pm. Also, if your marriage and reception venue are separate locations, give reasonable time for travel between the two’.

Bad weather shouldn’t be a problem if you have chosen a good photographer. If you are selecting a venue which involves being outdoors, what contingency plan is in place, given the vagaries of British weather?

Style of photography

Traditional

Traditional wedding photos comprise a series of posed shots of the bride and groom, the family, the best man and bridesmaids etc. Whilst this undoubtedly ensures that each specific group or guest you want is recorded for posterity, many modern couples feel that the look is a bit formal and perhaps stiff.

Reportage

This is a much more relaxed approach to wedding photos which involves the photographer taking natural shots throughout the day. Many couples say they are hardly aware of the photographer’s presence which, for some, is important. However, the absence of any posed shots can mean someone important being missed out.

http://www.xposephoto.co.uk/

A mixture of the two styles can be the answer, but do bear in mind that many photographers are skilled in one style and neither enjoy nor excel at the other. Take your time looking at previous work and ask to speak direct to two or three previous wedding clients for testimonials if possible.

Packages, Prices and a bit of Common Sense………..

As with many aspects of your wedding, prices vary tremendously. Some say assume around 10% of your total budget, which is probably fair. I would say think seriously and honestly about what your exact goal is, find the person you think will best help you achieve it, then work with them on price.

Many photographers have a number of set packages, but most will also negotiate, especially if you plan to have them there all day. Be honest, tell the person what you plan to pay/ can afford and see what they can do for the price.

If you want someone for two hours, this is absolutely fine, but understand that in peak season they will be likely to have another wedding the same day – after all, they have a business to run. If you want someone for the majority of the day, it will cost more, but you can rest assured that however much your well planned timings change, your photographer will be there to film it all.

If you have someone there for the majority of the day, please make sure you feed them. This may sound obvious, but is often forgotten. You don’t have to find your photographer a seat with your guests, albeit if you wish to, go ahead. Just ensure the poor soul has a decent bar meal or whatever seems appropriate given your particular venue etc. Photography can be hard work and we all do our job better with a meal inside us.

In summary, think carefully about what you really want, take time finding someone who will not only help you achieve it, but seems excited about it too, then treat them as you would wish to be treated ………. Do this and you won’t go far wrong.

Men and Weddings

‘Men and weddings go together well: most Grooms want to be heavily involved in all the preparations and have to be consoled about not being able to help choose the wedding dress’ …….

.......Sound familiar? All right, probably not, but during my eight years of wedding planning I have seen quite a shift in attitude from Grooms, with around 30% showing a lot of interest in organising the perfect day and, in a couple of cases, very much taking the reins.

I believe much of this has to do with people choosing to marry a little later and often paying for the majority of the wedding as a couple rather than looking to parents for finance. In talking to Grooms it is also a question of wanting to put on a great party and give friends and family excellent food and wine and wow them with interesting entertainment, which of course includes the speeches: traditionally the domain of the men.

However, if you are a Bride and you don’t feel your husband to be is interested or involved, don’t despair. He was the one, probably, who went down on one knee to ask you to marry him so he definitely wants the wedding: he may simply not be as absorbed by the shade and width of your chair cover ties as perhaps you and your Mum are. There are generally elements of the wedding which he will have more interest in, so why not establish what they are and agree that he will organise, or at least take the lead in, these. Classic suggestions would be:

Transport

Have him view and shortlist some options: some Grooms choose to hire a fabulous sports car to drive them to the Church for something a little different.

Honeymoon

Traditionally one of the items the Groom would pay for, many still organise the honeymoon as a complete surprise for their Bride, ensuring, of course, she knows sufficient about the destination to have had the right shots and packed suitable clothing.

Attire

I would generally advise waiting until the Bride has chosen her dress and those of any bridesmaids, plus the overall colour scheme for the day, thus ensuring no ghastly faux pas whereby you have a bright orange tie and the ladies are all in purple. Once this is done, I would advise Grooms to plan their attire and book any formal hire around four to five months prior to the wedding.

Drinks

With wines from so many parts of the world being easily accessible these days many of us have more than a passing interest in grape varieties and bouquets. Whether you are choosing from a hotel wine list, planning a booze cruise to do your own thing or simply visiting your local off license this is an area which many Grooms are more than happy to be in charge of.

Speeches

These days there are really no taboos about who makes a speech at a wedding. In the UK many brides or ‘best women’ will get up and speak whereas in America pretty much anyone will toast the happy couple and take two minutes to say a few words, which can be lovely. However, in my experience, around 80% of us still go for the traditional three speeches, all made by our most beloved chaps.

So, for the male readers amongst you, go for it. We all love to hear a well delivered, fun filled, ‘not-too-embarrassing’ speech, so it is worth taking your time, checking it over with a couple of trusted mates, and making your Bride the proudest girl in the world on your big day.

And as for the Best Man…..remember, make it funny, make it cool, make the bridesmaids drool but make sure nobody will be genuinely offended by any jokes or comments you make.

Give the guys a break

In the end there are many Grooms and indeed Fathers of Brides who have very little interest in the detail. If your fiancé is dragging his heels and really only thinking about putting a ring on your finger and having a fabulous holiday, so be it: you probably didn’t fall for him because of his party planning skills anyway. Also, the wedding is just the beginning: later in your marriage you might be pleased that you get to choose the wall colours, the furnishings and the menus!

Michelle & Neal - Leaving Party

A couple of weeks back one of my closest friends emigrated to Philadelphia for a few years.

Sad as I will be not to have her close at hand, I wanted to be a big part of her leaving party - well, of course I did.

We held the event at the lovely marquee behind Boxmoor Lodge http://www.boxmoorlodge.co.uk/ .

Michelle & Neal were keen to give their friends a great time, but with all the expenses ahead it was important to keep to a sensible budget.

These beautiful crystal trees were an inspiration - inexpensive to hire, yet sophisticated and a wonderful way to enhance an already delightful backdrop. http://www.essentialweddinghire.com/  delivered and placed them, then collected them the following day ... a great service.

I decided that having one on every other table made for a lovely look.

Needless to say I, and many others, will miss Michelle enormously, but even though she hasn't yet (10 days in) got a PC or TV,  she has discovered the local, apparently largest in the world, shopping mall - go Michelle - enjoy!

Keeping the Children Happy

Food and Drink


Whatever you choose to feed the children, the most important thing is to make them feel included and important. Good caterers will work with you on this. Simple touches like smaller cutlery can make a big difference.

With large numbers of children, some couples choose to give them their own party, including food, in a different room, with adult supervision.

Space for the children…

If possible it is a good idea to use a separate room or area for children’s activities, ideally near, but not right next to, the main reception room. Children tend to make a lot of noise, particularly after having been quiet for some time and indeed if they are laughing with an entertainer. Have them close enough for parental visits but far enough away to avoid hearing bouts of laughter at the wrong points in your father’s speech.

Entertainment

Make sure the children have something to occupy them. This need not mean you have to hire a magician, although for a large number this can be wonderful, see www.themagiccircle.co.uk to find someone in your area. One word of warning – if the entertainer is good, I have known parents stay at the children’s party rather longer than anticipated! Alternatively try a crèche service. This allows parents to leave little ones with fully trained staff and have a real break for a few hours. Many also offer babysitting services. Try www.thecrechecompany.co.uk for an excellent service in the Home Counties at great prices.

Laying out a few small tables and chairs with a simple craft activity like hat making or crayoning by numbers can be very useful, as can hiring some inflatable toys, especially for Spring and Summer weddings where a bouncy castle or blown up goal posts etc can be used outside.

Providing balloons and party bags or boxes as the children’s favours can be a great way of keeping them happy during the meal and possibly speeches. Make sure you fill bags with appropriate items for each child’s age and sex – and no chocolate to mess up their lovely new wedding outfits!

In short, think about how you want your day to run, and if you are inviting children provide activities tailored to achieving it. Make sure you communicate what’s available and when and most parents will be thrilled that you have worked to involve and occupy their youngsters.

(With thanks to www.mikaelamorgan.co.uk  for the photographs)

Wonderful fresh BBQ and buffet food

I met with the lovely Camilla and Thomas of http://www.flamedfoods.co.uk/ yesterday and was really refreshed with their approach to catering weddings, parties and other events. Their foundations are really to provide extremely tasty and satisfying dishes, all made with fresh ingredients from scratch and they believe in using supplies which will have as little impact on the environment as possible. Their enthusiasm is apparent in their approach and their service is all about creating atmosphere.

Their dishes are designed to be enjoyed together and they love working with clients to include their ideas. Perfect for creating atmosphere at a Summer wedding or garden party.

I am very much looking forward to working with Camilla and Thomas with clients keen to have relaxed and sumptuous food.